Helping others

Aunt Jean

← I've had a text: my parcel is stuck at customs and I have to pay a £1.99 fee, otherwise it goes back. Should I tap the link?

What do you reply?

• ✓ “Good that you asked! That's a well-known trick — please don't tap it. Forward it to 7726 and delete it. If you're expecting a parcel, we'll check with the delivery company together.” – Exactly. Clear on the facts, kind in tone — and Jean will ask again next time.
• ✗ “Anyone can see that's a scam!” – Right on the facts, but it makes her feel foolish. Someone who gets that answer may not ask next time — and that's what scammers want.
• ✗ “Tap it and see what happens.” – The link leads to a page that wants card details. The small amount is the bait — not the damage.

A trap — and a good answer to it: first praise the question, then say clearly what to do, and offer help. That keeps asking easy.

Aunt Jean

← I think I've done something silly 😟 I typed my card number into one of those pages. I hardly dare tell anyone.

What do you reply?

• ✓ “Good that you're telling me — it happens to clever people too. Call your bank now on the number on your card, or call 159, and get the card blocked. I'll ring you straight after.” – Exactly. Take the pressure off first, then act: blocking comes first. Talking can wait.
• ✗ “How could you be so careless?” – Blame costs time and courage now. Shame is exactly why many people keep quiet — and the card stays open.
• ✗ “Wait and see whether anything is taken.” – Waiting only helps the scammers. With the card number, money can be taken straight away — get it blocked now.

After a mistake, two things count: act quickly and drop the shame. When you help, take the pressure off first and then name the next step.

Aunt Jean

← Quick question: there's a man from the computer company on the phone, he says I've got viruses. He's waiting. Should I install the program he's telling me about?

What do you reply?

• ✓ “No, please don't! Just hang up — no company calls like that. I'll ring you in a minute.” – Exactly. Short and clear — Jean needs to act now, not read. You can explain on the phone afterwards.
• ✗ “Go ahead, they know what they're doing.” – The program would give the caller remote access to Jean's computer — to her files and online banking.
• ✗ “Ask him his name and company first.” – He'll have an answer ready — and Jean stays on the line longer. The only thing that helps here: hang up.

A trap: so-called tech support. When someone is in the middle of it, a short, clear instruction helps more than an explanation. The explanation comes afterwards.

Aunt Jean

← The library has written to say my two books are due back on Friday. Is that a scam too? You never know these days.

What do you reply?

• ✓ “Sounds perfectly normal: you did borrow books, and nobody wants money or details. You can renew them on the library website you always use.” – Exactly. Check together instead of distrusting everything: the reason fits, no demand, no pressure.
• ✗ “Everything's a scam these days — better delete it.” – Blanket distrust doesn't help: genuine messages get lost too, and Jean ends up paying late fees.

Genuine — and that's part of helping too: not suspecting everything. Checking together whether the reason, the sender and the request fit helps more than a blanket “delete it”.